To Be A Coherent Coach

THE COHERENT COACH

By Jennifer Day


We don’t need research to show that when we are internally coherent – that is when we feel physically and emotionally balanced, safe and in harmony – our brain works fast and accurately, ideas emerge naturally and effortlessly, we find the right words to say what we want to say, we can adapt easily to unforeseen events, and we experience being what some would call, ‘in the flow’. As coaches, we are familiar with this state - in both ourselves, and our clients. For those who would like some research evidence, I can tell you it is abundant! The other side of that research – the probably less known side – shows that when we are internally incoherent or emotionally and physically out of balance, the brain does not function well at all! The insidious thing is that we are often not even aware that this is happening; because most of the time, it is un-dramatic and caused by a phenomenon physicians call low-grade stress.

Low-grade stress is the result of a perpetual dose of small irritations, doubts or judgments that disturb the balance of the autonomic nervous system.

Because the autonomic nervous system cannot distinguish between the various types of stimulation we are subjected to, our body’s response is the same whether we are faced with an unexpectedly irate client or a tiger on the loose; we perceive it as a threat and as a result, a level of incoherence or disharmony is created in the heart, which sends messages back up to the brain to commence the stress-response, a natural process designed to defend against any perceived threat.

The ‘emotional brain’ is activated in a ‘switching’ of activity from the frontal lobes and neo-cortex (the intellectual, insightful, ‘thinking brain’), to the more reflexive responses of the limbic system or ‘emotional brain’, as the body’s defense mechanisms – (and the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system) are initiated: These include a release of various ‘stress’ hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, causing a slowing or shutting down of the digestive system, shallowness of breath or ‘over-breathing’, and increased heart rate and blood pressure; by diverting the blood away from the stomach and skin to the muscles we gain more strength and energy, appropriate for a ‘fight or flight’ situation, i.e. facing that tiger on the loose. However, when a client for the fifth time tells us he has not implemented what he agreed to, or the computer freezes as we go to send a follow-up email we’ve worked on for the past half-hour, such a full-blown fight-or-flight reaction is neither appropriate nor is it necessarily a state we enter into, at least not all the way; typically however, we experience a reactive response – sometimes unconsciously – which will initiate a ‘stress alert’ state. The brain then prepares the body for the fight-or flight response in anticipation, even if the action of fighting or fleeing never takes place, allowing un-discharged stress chemicals and muscle tension to build up. (Anticipatory emotions such as anxiety, worry and frustration cause the equivalent response; all produce the same chemical reactions as being faced with a tiger!)

The stress response will eventually diminish if we use up the energy generated (physically fighting or fleeing!) - or by consciously relaxing and activating the autonomic’s parasympathetic system, designed to cool us down while allowing heart rate, blood pressure and oxygen levels to all return to normal. The fact is that in most cases we neither physically defend ourselves nor do we consciously initiate a relaxation process, instigating instead the ‘stress alert’ state repeatedly, each time we have our internal reactions throughout the day. The result is an on-off, on-off, on-off cycle that is similar to driving a car with one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake. (Imagine what would happen to a car if we drove it in such a way!)

Aside from the obvious damaging effects this can have on our health, it also makes our brains ineffective for any resourcefully complex pursuit such a coaching – being that the front part of our brain has been partially switched off!  Insidiously, if we are not even conscious of the presence of low-grade stress in our lives, we are of course equally un-aware of the negative effects of this oft-unnoticed, frequently sustained and usually unmanaged offensive to our emotional balance!

If and when we do notice it, invariably it is when the brain has already gone into ‘freeze’ mode. When in retrospect we think of clever or insightful things we should have said, or regret what we did or didn’t say, we are most certainly experiencing the result of this phenomena– a great inconvenience at best! Undoubtedly when we are trying to think clearly and have a creative response to a client, in the moment, the last thing we need to have the ‘thinking brain’ shut down!

So, what to do about this? How do we ensure we are coherent coaches at all times? Well, as you might imagine, the first step is increasing your self-awareness – and the next step is self- management:

1. NOTICE your stress-response:
Where in your body do you take your stress?
Where in your body do you feel your emotions?
Where in your body do you hold tension?

Keep a small journal next to you and note down when you’re feeling uncomfortable. Next to your entry, write where in your body you’re feeling it.
A daily entry into your journal will likely increase your self-awareness within 2 – 3 weeks, and soon you’ll start to notice the tension in your body before you’re even aware you are having a reaction! Your body will begin to ‘speak’ to you – or rather, you will start to notice your body communicating to you.

2. MANAGE your stress-response:
When you notice tension anywhere, consciously ‘let go’ of the tension (For example; if it’s in your hands & arms, clench your fists tightly for a count of ten and then let go, allowing your fingers, hands and arms to go limp for ten seconds. Shake them lightly, imagining letting go of any excess tension remaining.)
Take three slow, deep breaths, extending the exhale.
Open your chest and smile for the count of ten (even if you don’t feel like it!) Physically smiling will release endorphins that will eventually make you feel better.

3. OBSERVE your brain’s efficacy:
Notice how your brain works better when you’re in a good-feeling, coherent state – how much smarter you are.
Notice your thinking when you’re upset. Write down what you’re thinking. When you feel better, write what you’re thinking about the same subject. Compare the two!

Last but not least, when you’ve tried all that, Habituate Whatever Works!